Nightmare on Powers Road

This is not a good post. In fact it has nothing much to do with the joys of life or love or spiritualism. Most faint of heart and those with feelings probably won’t want to read it. But, those that have no consciences or feelings for others will love it so go for it.
On October 5, after making final arrangements, I advised my husband that I was going to take a break from our marriage and move in with my Sister for an uncertain amount of time starting on 1st November. He cried. I love him and he loves me but he is an alcoholic and has abused me verbally for 42 years. He has just now again started to clean up his act but I need to get away. I cannot move in with my Sister until 1st November because she has to clean the house and my Sister and I have not always gotten along. However, she just lost her job so I assumed that it would help both her and I and that he would feel better because I wasn’t moving over 5 miles away and would be closer. October 5 was not a good day and I was feeling terribly guilty and depressed. When I went to bed I told my husband that I was very depressed. He, knowing that I probably didn’t want to talk to him about it, suggested that I try calling one of the 800 support lines that are listed in the telephone book.
So, coming downstairs I did call, was put on hold for 1/2 hour and then a representative talked to me and found out I was depressed. So, he called 911. He asked If I had weapons in the house and I said “no guns, knives in the drawers in the kitchen but nothing else I could think of”. He asked me to put the dogs in a separate room. Whistle, whistle, within 15 minutes two sheriff cars and a state police car pulled up and came to the driveway.
Since I had called after I had gone to bed, they asked if my husband if he would go with me while I got dressed. OK. I thought maybe they were embarrassed. The night shirt DID have a small hole on the rim.   They then put me in cuff links and took me out to the police car and put me into the back seat. They drove me to the nearest hospital and we trooped up to the reception and waited for our names to be called. Remember, this is a very small area. I pulled my sleeves down as far as I could but I was still embarrassed because it was obvious that the policeman was watching over me.
OK, into emergency. I had all sorts of tests run: vitals, EKG, blood tests. By then I asked where my husband was so they did go and get him. By that time, I had repeated what had happened many times and finally a social worker (or Doctor)  came and told me I was going to be admitted to the mental ward. I said “no”. She said I would be arrested if I ran. I said “no”. five nurses came and gave me one heck of a shot. “ouch!!!” Then off I went. Meanwhile my husband had called my daughter who told the social worker that I often threatened suicide and she was worried about me so that finalized the case.  I can only assume that she was afraid for me and wanted me to be safe because both she and my husband have attempted suicide previously.  All my belongings were taken from me and I was given a bedroom and gowns to sleep in (I think – I was pretty out of it).
On October 6 just about every hour there was a program or snack. No cell phones, pencils or anything not squishy to do myself in with. Try to cut ham with your fork and spoon. I take so many pills for my cholesterol, familial tremor, calcium and supplements that it took until two p.m. the next day to straighten them out. When I went into the bathroom someone checked on me about every 3 minutes and while sleeping, nurses did their rounds with flashlights
I must admit that I liked the nurses, the doctor and the assistants but did not like the fact that I was given no information as to how long I was to be there. I had no outdoor privileges and the air was so dry that my nose was bloody.  I was frightened and in shock and as yet, had no diagnosis.
The next day I was sentenced to another day because they didn’t feel that I was “safe” because I had not yet written a “safety plan”.  I cried through dinner and had Tina call my mother to call my attorney (who was a good friend of hers) to get me the heck out of there. There was no result. Tina called my best friend who said he would love to come out from Cal. to help but, of course, I knew his situation which made it impossible. Most of the recreation was watching TV which all my readers know I do not do although I did get to paste words onto a sheet of paper. Reading the paperwork I found that I could be forced to stay there 15 days and then the time extended if two Doctors agreed. I was petrified because of being locked in. I figured if I had wanted to commit suicide that I would have done it. If I didn’t then I would have called the 800 number so I’m very depressed and confused.
On this day we had a 9:00 meeting deciding what we were going to wear for Halloween.  Great. Two of us chose ghosts. For me it was because it was easiest. Treatment teams were to meat today and Thursday with the last names A-L today and the rest Thursday. My Social worker was going to be Jackie. Hopefully I will be fit in today so that I don’t have to wait until Thursday. I visited the book case but couldn’t seem to get into concentrating on readings. My name was called for the treatment team! hooray. Forms galore. The most important paper was the Proactive Safety Plan that we made stating that the Doctor, Patient, Social Worker and Counselor were there and that we agreed on it. A copy of this paper was sent to the County Behavioral Health. This stated that I would be working on not being depressed, worried or about boundaries being placed upon me. I wondered what anyone else in the world was worrying about. I was also to be aware if I was being pushed. Such as being pushed into an institution? Believe me, I was well aware of it already. It stated that I would play with my dogs, call or visit someone if I had problems. Where to go to take my mind off the problems? This was a hard one. At the time I thought putting in my daughter, mother, store and sisters would be best because I really thought that they could help. Debi and Ken…you are the ones I would contact during a crisis although the other night it certainly would not have done much good to contact you. I stated that I was a (F)riend and had no weapons.
Next document was Emergency Information/Safety Numbers as in the ones I had called…HAH!
On my Hospital Problem List was stated depression (hooray, they had one thing right!) and that I was to go to the Behavioral Health Network on 10/10 at 9:00. It was stated that If I did not, the state police and sheriffs office would find me. My primary support to keep me safe were my husband, my daughter and my sister Dawn and that I was to go home with my spouse/sister. It was stated that I was saying I would hang myself out of frustration but would never do it and that I could keep myself safe and that they may call to follow up. I then received my belongings and a flue shot and in shock walked out to the car with my husband.
Errand #1 on the way home was to stop at my Mother’s and tell her thank you for her understanding and for calling my attorney to help get me out of there. She said she did not call the attorney and understood that I had checked myself in because of alcoholism and that my youngest sister had told her that I had called her an alcoholic.  Later she changed this to telling me that I only wanted to get out of there because I wanted a drink.
OK. After that shock I went home and called my older sister and younger sister. seven hours later, my oldest sister has not returned the call. A few hours ago my younger sister called to tell me that she was changing her mind on her offer of me staying with her starting 11/1 because she didn’t think she could care for me.  How nice after I had told my husband which started this whole mess!
So, since that was my “safety plan” I expect the police to come at any moment. I’m really not feeling so safe right now although the more friends I tell this story to, the more friends that I get nice offers from.
Now, I’m exhausted and going to go to my own waterbed with my dogs and try to sleep!
Nite

I Love Electricity

Even though you didn’t notice that I have been missing, I have now returned.  After weeks of cleaning the house, I was so sick of it that I ran to my camp in the Adirondacks.  Unfortunately, this camp is almost totally off the grid.

To prepare myself, I loaded up my laptop, purchased a new cell phone and a Jet Pack, packed our Hot Spot and brought our two marine batteries and battery charger in case it was needed.  I emptied drawers of 1/3 shorts, 1/3 capries and 1/3 long pants with matching shirts but, of course, no jacket because it was very warm.  I stayed until day before yesterday.

It was very strange, but beautiful, up there because I was totally by myself most times.  When I got there I proceeded to hook up one of the marine batteries to the camper to run the hot water heater, furnace, and water pump.  As a short lesson to all those who have not had to hook up batteries + (positive) does not mean that it is a wonderful thing.  What it DOES mean is that you will positively get burnt if you put the – (negative) wires on that side.  – (negative) does not mean bad news.  It means that it is not hot and you must put the black wires on that side.  After hooking up the wires, going into the camper and realizing that I couldn’t start the refrigerator, I went out to check if the wires were loose and smelled burning plastic.  This was the plastic around the wires that was turning into goop.  Running into the camper, I grabbed the pot holders and switched the wires thus I know:  + (positive) means positively hot.  I then went in and started the fridge, went out and turned on the water tank and started the hot-water heater.  There are three little hoses in this and you have to remember which one to hold the lighter on because that one is the pilot.  You also have to remember how to work the dial.  After a little trial and error, it started.

Meanwhile, Karla and Sam were screaming that they had to go quick so we had our first walk.  Having been told that a huge bear had been sighted around our camper and that they had released nuisance bears up there it was a very short walk.  Back to the camper, unload the car and try to call home to say I was safe and sound.  However, since it was a cloudy day, the phone kept cutting off and I wasn’t ready to use the Jet Pack which was advertised as having your very own hot spot.  Wrong.  I did finally get the Jet Pack, which had no instructions to work with my cell and the laptop but you still had to be out of doors to use them.  Also, since there are large power lines up there the batteries of everything are sucked empty within a day so my car was continually running to recharge them because the Hot Shot didn’t want to work at all and when I tried to charge the cell with it, it just sucked the rest of the charge out of it.

Since coming home, I have been running around in heaven just turning off and on lights and have never left my land line or computer.

Of course, as we all know – I don’t cook.  However, after one month of practice I can fry eggs and toast bread on the burners of the stove and heat soup.  My sister came up, we went grocery shopping and I learned that if it is 10 for 10 you don’t have to purchase 10.  We also went to the laundry mat and after stuffing six washers we both learned that there are three different sizes of washers and it probably would have been easier to use the big ones.  AND they do not take Canadian coins.

Rich, a newly made friend in town taught me that if my cell goes completely dead that you have to use a wall plug to reset it, that even if you recharge the Hot Shot for 24 hours it still won’t work and that that horrible noise that your car makes when you are backing up and that you are petrified is the transmission or transmission joints is really the fact that you are backing up and scraping rocks while you are doing so.

Of course things started going even more south when the temperature started dropping.  I did know that if I used the furnace that it would wear out the battery within a couple of days so I got out the Mr. Heater, went into town and purchased all of the little green gas bottles at Stewarts (and by the way, I am now very proficient at filling a gas tank).  At $5.00 per bottle I found that if you light three kerosene lamps at a time, they will heat the trailer just as well.

During the days I worked a little on my historical duties, read and napped.  Oh, and tried to catch that dang frog who knew exactly how long my arm was so it could get out of reach.  I really wanted to catch it and turn it into a prince but perhaps next year…

I’m proud that I did it by myself because it was lonely, cold and, at times, pretty scary.  I could have used more support from here but regardless at the time, I had to do it for personal reasons and I think that I know that I can take care of myself now if needs be.  I don’t have to stay here if I don’t want and I found that there are certain people that I can count on to hold on to the other end of the rope if I fall.  There are those that feel that I shouldn’t have gone up there on my own but I feel that since I didn’t take unnecessary risks and no bears ate me or the dogs that things went pretty darn well.

I sure did miss the computer though!

Now, I feel a craving to go turn on and off some lights and the furnace!

Oh!  And one more thing….you can do it, too.

Soon they hit the rocks!

News from Huron, the Famous Resort City on Lake Ontario in NY (Meaning NOT New York City!

So, today is the day that I report to the courthouse to be “a potential juror”. I’ve only been worrying about this for two years when I got out of it because I was sick. Then, two months ago I got the dreaded letter that I had to fill out and return and then one month ago I got the summons and then today I have to be there by 9:15.
The good news is that at the moment it is not snowing. I think it is about 20 miles through the countryside and this has been a horrible winter for snow and of course I’m worrying about blowing snow because it is windy. I’ll have to bring my worry stone.
Paul woke me up on time. OMG! it was dark. I am so spoiled from not having to travel to a job. I get up, pick up the house, get dressed and start on the computer anywhere from 11:00 to 2:00 and only work to 5:00 or 6:00 then eat and iron, sew, whatever while watching a movie and then to bed. The dogs keep me on schedule. Like right now, as soon as I put on my sneakers, all four are lined up at the door because this week my Mother discombobulated me by have a stint put in and I’ve been out every day. Usually I dust the floor with my socks.
What to wear? Nothing formal, no rags, so I picked a sweater, skinny jeans and (believe it or not) matching sneakers. LOL! The sweater is yellow and blue, the skinny pants are blue and the sneakers are yellow and blue.https://aussiemagicvintiques.wordpress.com/wp-admin/media-upload.php?post_id=506&type=image&TB_iframe=1
What to take with me? A book, naturally I’m reading a big hard cover (Phelps and Gorham Purchase by Thomas), teeny weeny stickers for the book because I’m taking a teeny weeny purse, my license, my medical records, and, because I don’t worry, my DNR instructions, two Kleenex, my lorazipam for when I won’t take the oath because I’m a member of the Religious Society of Friends. I may chicken out on that one and a LARGE bottle of Jim Beam for the courtroom because I’m sure the Judge will need it. Oh drats, I thought I would get by the security check without having to put my stuff in a tray but I forgot about the keys. Should I leave my coat in the car so I don’t have to hassle with it? They confiscate your phones so I’ll leave that there. (Not that I ever use it which makes my daughter want to steal my lorazipam.
What a week. Mother is fine and I THINK I almost have a job as the Town of Huron Historian! It pays $.67 per day but I’m excited anyway AND I got my first Social Security check so I’m RICH! My husband is very excited that this will help him pay the bills (he thinks). I sort of celebrated by buyins some more dog-show clothes and shoes and entering Karla into some shows. And, knowing me, I called my handler (OMG he has grey hair now) to stand by for Syracuse and Springfield. The first two are matches and handling seminars so I can pretend I’ve never seen a dog leash before. This puppy is so shy! I took her over to see Mom and there were three other dogs there and my sister and brother-in-law and, as usual, we all have such similar views (not) that when someone started I about the Tea Party and Obama, Karla jumped on my lap and it was three to one and we argued to my coat and gloves and slipped out the door. I have to do some more research so I can back my opinions up. I didn’t even know who the Koch brothers were and I pronounced the entirely wrong way. Well, I should have known…Henceforth keep thy mouth shut on religion and politics! I’m going to be just wonderful working for the town! LOL! That is, if I live through this day or get picked for a trial that is 12 months long. Where is that worry stone???
As usual, my house is a complete disaster because the floor washer is broken and I ordered the parts 1/20 and they shipped them 2/16. I think I need to hire Billy across the street to use his plow in here. Karla’s favorite toys are the dust balls and she looks kind of like a wire fox terrier of a strange color when she comes up to me. I also need to go through Petfinders and pull the Aussies to list on Australian Terriers International. I should get RC involved in that. Some of those people really need his advice and vice versa but I’m not sure how much he uses Facebook. Another favorite place in Dunham Lake Aussies where Karla came from. I can honestly say that with the exception of four people they are my best friends. However, it isn’t time to worry about Colorado yet and stuffing Karla in the air pod. She isn’t going cargo even if I have to cut her legs and tail off.
Well, noodles, that’s the news and all the news from the Miller Zoo in Huron. Visits are allowed – $10.00 for adults and $5.00 for children. Beds and food extra. But, you ain’t gonna find Huron, NY, anyway. It’s in a black hole although it does have a web site AND MAYBE MY NAME WILL BE ON IT!!!!! They really like me a lot because of my mouth. That was my 10th application. LOL!!!

Probably a Slow Day for Some

“What’s that?”, you say, “how was your day?”. Well, I’ll tell you whether that’s what you said or not. You COULD just delete it and I won’t be insulted because I won’t know. (Someone tell me that there isn’t a blog delete counter because I’d be in trouble!)
To start with, I just couldn’t get out of bed. There was a dog to the right of me that was sleeping on the covers that WOULD NOT move. He does the same thing when I try to go somewhere and he hasn’t been invited. First he grabs the carpeting with his nails. I think he is like a cat because I cut them regularly. and if I get him out of the rug he flops over onto his back and turns into something that feels floppy. Then I take him with me. But this time, he was going nowhere!
I had a dog to the left under the covers and she was warm and cuddly. Sometimes, when she doesn’t want to be warm and cuddly she sticks out those long legs and you can’t get near her. She does that at our camp where we have a smaller bed and this gives her more room. My Hubby says she always sleeps with her back toward me and puts one of her legs up his ***.
I had a dog on top of my feet. She’s easy though. All you have to do is say “BOO!” and she jumps up, piddling all the time and looking terribly guilty so that I have to kiss her for a while if I ever can get up. I think it’s the Border Collie in her.
Once I got up, I was ready to go back to bed. I’m slightly compulsive and have my order of things to do. I spend a lot of time in the bathroom so I’ve decorated it as nicely as the rest of the house. In fact, I’m painting another mirror frame there the same color as the wall (off white). It’s one of those old ones with decorations so you can’t vacuum it or the frame disappears piece by piece, yellow and green with gold accents. But not in the morning.
This is what I do in the morning. Get a cup of coffee and a glass of water, sit down and read my current book for however long I want…and I don’t get interrupted by anyone…and it’s kind of comfortable unles my IBS kicks in. Then into the shower. Then the neti pot. I know people think this is gross but it works for my allergies. I’ve gotten so I feel dirty if I haven’t washed my nose, then my teeth: brush with electric brush, brush way back with small brush, Brush between with Xmas tree brush, massage around teeth with that rubber pointy thing and then floss. Meanwhile I can still read! Then I grease myself down, first toner on the face then face lotion and then body lotion. Then I tackle my hair which is getting long again. Almost to the bottom of the shoulderblades. Since I’ve grown it this time from a 1″ cut and can’t stand hair in my face, I kept cheating and cutting the front top but now it’s almost long enough to rubberband with the rest of my ponytail. It will be a bun later. Then dress and “wallah!”
I look at the clock and my Doctor appointment is one hour away. I’m outta there! (of course forgetting my updated list of medications and supplements (42 total so I’m taking them all day and I don’t see or feel any different for the supplements – but I guess they are preventatives). The only trouble is that some are big and if I’m in a hurry I have trouble. Tonight I got one stuck in my throat and it really hurt. I drank a glass of water, I ran into the kitchen and grabbed a big piece of crust. It wouldn’t go down; nor would the pill come back with it. so I ended up sticking my finger down my throat which worked (and no food came out, thank goodness). It was a medium capsule of COQ10 and believe me, I didn’t take another. I think I would rather have a heart attack.
Late at the Doctors. Believe it or not – I am actually losing 2 lbs every three months! By the time I am 80 I’ll have reached my goal. I’ve given up on the cholesterol. He added another pill so I’m now taking 8 pills a day for that. But, I guess I should be happy it went from 320 to 240 in 7 years. And, I’ve changed my eating (except bar-b-que chicken skin and I haven’t told him that). I can’t eat too much fiber because of the IBS. Even the unsoluable fiber. Blood sugar up again. Not diabetic yet and I’ve stopped sugar completely. Have you ever had Jim Beam without Coke or Pepsi? So I’ve lowered my alcohol intake. Blood pressure, pulse and everything else he checked was fine except the familial tremor. If I could get rid of one thing it would be that. First of all, its embarassing that my head shakes and my hands shake so bad that I find it difficult to lift a glass or cup to my mouth. I’m on the maximum amount of medication that he will give me so he referred me to a neurologist so he can probably tell me I have Parkinsons. But, I believe they have medication for that so I will be able to write again and paint again. I used to have beautiful handwriting. Thank God for typewriters.
Next – Verizon – My daughter told me to go in and tell them that my phone is shi*. I have a Samsung. All I need to do is call out and get to the internet and take pictures. That’s it! Why can’t they make new things easy? Even telephones. Kids can’t add or write but they understand these scientific instruments. What’s up with that? However I’m call-phone challenged and have had it for 1.5 years. I have 92 voice call messages that I can’t get to so I gave it to my daughter. It tells her “dial 69” for messages. “this number is not in service”. She couldn’t even get them. So, I went in, went up to the counter and said “my daughter told me to tell you that this phone is “shi*”. He looked around. I told him I wanted another kind that could only do what I wanted and nothing else and “could he please get my messages for me? I’ll just sit here and listen to how many friends I’ve lost if I may.” Well, he played with it and said it wasn’t refurbished but that “this phone is shi*”. So my new Samsung arrived today and I’M supposed to know how to transfer all my contacts and stuff to it? I printed out the telephone instructions for the old one and it filled a 3″ notebook! I think I’ll use the shitt* one.
Then on to Savers. I LOVE that store and I broke my record. Total – $350 but it was half price clothes day. This store plays good music, it has everything, everything is arranged by size and they fold pants so you can see the size and how they look. The books are even arranged by subject. I got 8 history books, three packages of dog toys (they bag them), placemats, vintage table cloths and as I was standing there the attendent hung an antique penny quilt for $9.99 in front of my face. I think she hung it on my hand! I’m going on a trip and my new puppy will probably chew my shoes and cuffs so of course three pairs of pants (one didn’t fit so my daughter lucks out), two long-sleeved shirts, (both to my daughter. Clothes that cheap don’t get tried on. It takes too long), two short-sleeved shirts, three t-shirts and a blazer that has really long arms that hubby laughed at until I glared. All I want is to be comfortable and my hostess did say they dress casual and when I get cold my hands get cold, too, and I’ll be using it just as a jacket, a pair of funny colored sneakers and a pair of shoes. One pair sweats for hubby, several kitchen utensils, a rock tumbler, lots of candles. I have to say that 2/3 of the clothing had their original tags on them and the rest looked like they had never been worn. I love that store. Well, I’m not too tall (5’1″) (oh! and a reversable belt and hankies for my quilt) so I had to stop when I was running into things (and a purse!) because the cart was so mounded over with my stuff. The cashier was new and a nervous wreck so we had an assembly line…the manager handed me the stuff, I removed the hangers, and the cashier did her job with no mistakes. Good girl!
Then I drove home, ate something, drank something, told the dogs that yes, I was fine and they were fine and everything was fine (I mean, jeez, my hubby works upstairs!), redressed and went out to meet a portion of my family at a restaurant for my brother-in-law’s birthday. I loved seeing my nieces because I don’t have grandchildren but for that restaurant if I eat with the kids again, I’ll bring my own crayons because their’s hardly colored at all! I wonder if there is a reason for that?
Then, home it was to a Miss Marple Mystery via Netflix, this blog which took 2 hours, and then to bed, I hope.
So, in otherwords, do you think my day was terrible or good. I think all in all it was good but I was glad when it was done.
Noodles!